One Chance?
Day twenty-four of a month for prayer and fasting and calling out to God
“This, then, is how you should pray:
“‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Matthew 6:9-10
What if my child only had one chance? What if not only her body but also her soul is at stake? If I had to choose between saving my daughter’s body and saving her soul - could I make that choice?
I am so very conscious that I am sharing these thoughts in public and I cannot say that what I am writing is for you, whoever you are. This, especially this, may just be for me, and if so, please let it fall like chaff.
Perhaps this was God speaking to me or perhaps this was just a random chain of thoughts I had. Yet I felt, I feel it has importance for me and perhaps it will be helpful to share this with you, not as a “you must believe what I believe” or a “this is what you have to do” but rather to share my struggles and wrestling as all of us would benefit from considering do we really mean it when we pray to our Father in heaven: “your will be done”.
There will be spoilers!
In the Marvel movie: Infinity War there is a character, Doctor Strange, who has the ability to manipulate time. In the crisis they face, he travels through all possible futures to find a way to defeat their enemy - Thanos - and save everyone. And he finds a way! One way. One chance. And whether intentionally or not, the writers of Infinity War remind those who listen of Jesus. The one way to God. The one chance all of us have to be saved.
There is a brief interaction between Doctor Strange and Iron Man, where Strange gives a hint at why he appears to surrender to Thanos, and gives their enemy the ability to manipulate time. Of all possible outcomes, there is only one chance, and it requires appearing to give the enemy victory.
Infinity War ends with Thanos the victor, a universal genocide has been accomplished with half of all life ended with the click of his fingers. And those who know will recall Jesus’ death on the cross, his burial in the tomb, and his followers defeated.
And then the next movie, End Game, which starts with defeat, rallies, and ramps up the action until the climax. At the start of the movie, Thanos is killed, but this is a time-travel story and an earlier version of Thanos learns of the future and seizes a way to travel forwards. The battle to end all battles ensues as each side attempts to gain control of ultimate power until, finally, Iron Man steals the power away from Thanos and sees Doctor Strange holding up one finger. We know what he is signaling. There is one chance. Only one chance. And Doctor Strange knows what it will cost. And possibly Iron Man does as well. And I cannot say that in the cinema as I watched I thought of Jesus teaching his followers that he must die and be buried and after three days come to life, yet in the days and weeks and years since I first saw Infinity War and then End Game, I have frequently wondered at the parallels. Jesus knew what he must suffer. He knew there was one chance for us. His death on the cross. For Jesus it would not be the end. But he did suffer.
And in the movie, the fictional world, Iron Man takes his one chance, uses the ultimate power to defeat Thanos again, and all his vast army. And it costs him his life. For what man can wield ultimate power and not suffer the ultimate cost?
One chance. What if my daughter only has one chance? This is not to say that God cannot and will not. My daughter has will. My daughter has also been deceived. And if the deception is revealed and she is able to see the truth, she still has will. And I do know my history, enough anyway, to know that even faced with the truth, some people will reject it. How many people have chosen to worship idols knowing they are made of wood and stone and metal? How many have chosen to worship the created rather than the creator? The sons of both Eli the priest and of Samuel the prophet all were wicked. King David was a man after God’s own heart, yet his son Absalom rebelled against his father and died a shameful death. What if God knows what it will take for my daughter to realise her need for her Father in heaven is to suffer herself?
And so back to Jesus’ template prayer: “your will be done”. This is not to say what is God’s will. Not in my daughter’s life, nor in your child’s. And I don’t know whether or not to share this. For years I have resisted this possibility, that my daughter will go ahead with her plans for surgery. I know that if she does, I will still love her. I believe this surgery would be a grave mistake. I will still love her. And in truth, isn’t this what God has done for each of us. Whatever choices we made that were in rebellion to him, he loved us first, and Jesus’ death was in spite of the bad choices we would make. Jesus chose sacrifice for us - his one choice, loving us before we could even realise we needed his love.
God has not shown me what will happen, possibly has not shown you, and maybe that is a mercy. If the worst happens, we will have to deal with it then, and how much worse may it be to have known all along and be unable to do anything about it? And I will keep praying, and keep trusting in God, and I hope you will too. And somehow I have to reconcile this uncertainty over the future with certainty that no matter what happens, God still loves me, and God still loves my child. And if God does not answer my prayers now in the way I want, then I will continue to love him and say: “your will be done”, not my will, but yours, Father in heaven. Because he knows. And it is not that God is not powerful enough to act, he is! His goal though, is to rescue my child, not just from harming herself, but also from rejecting him, and the ultimate harm of Hell.
For each of our children, there may be one chance or a million. We will keep praying for them, and God will prevent many from harming themselves. Will I continue to love God and give him glory if he allows my daughter, having free will, to start taking drugs, or become an alcoholic, or damage her body in any of the hundreds of ways any of us with free will can choose? I will. And I will ask God to save her from herself and to lead her to Jesus who is the only one chance she or any of us has.
Father in heaven, glory to you! You took a chance on all of your creation. You knew, before you started work creating this world, that we would turn against you, and yet you went ahead and created the most beautiful jewel in the heavens anyway. You did not just create a planet, you filled it with beauty and tastes and smells and precious stones and rare metals and chemicals that react in ways that are beneficial to us. And after we rebelled against you, you sent your one and only son, who allowed himself to be sacrificed so that we might live! No other story can compare to your story! You are the author of salvation, the greatest story arc in history, the ultimate reversal. Praise you. Praise you. I will love you, come what may. Whatever happens. Anyway. I do ask you to save my child. And I know you want to. But if, for reasons only you know, my child will suffer, then help me to trust you. And in the end, bring my child to yourself, to receive a new body and a new life, where we can celebrate with you. Amen
Yesterday’s post: https://goal31.substack.com/p/no-one-is-too-evil
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